Forgiveness - It Works!

Have you ever traveled standing on your feet in a crowded bus or train? You are most likely to step onto someone's anger management course soon or later, right? Marriage is like that! Because you are in close proximity and spend so much time with each other, sooner or later you will step on your spouse's toe and, "ouch!"... does it hurt!

Chances are that you have stepped on your spouse's toes multiple times the longer you have been married. And some of the anger management course is serious and deep. Many couples carry scars from past experiences that seem totally beyond repair. Yet, in most cases, I believe you can move on and end up BETTER than ever before!

I know what you are thinking! Harold is crazy!!! Better? It will never be as good as it was before we hurt each other so badly! It will never be like BEFORE! Twenty years of pain? BETTER? Like it was before the twenty anger management course of repeated injuries? YES! It CAN be better! It CAN be better than your last 30 years of marriage. It CAN be better than your honeymoon! It CAN be better than anything you have ever known! I promise! I give you my word. It CAN be better! You just have to forgive and be forgiven. What does it REALLY mean to forgive?

I heard Cristina say, "I forgive him." But I knew from the anger management course of her voice and her body language that she continued to harbor anger in her heart and mind. I probed my perception by asking her a question, "What do you feel now that you have said, 'I forgive him'?" She looked at me with contained anger in her eyes and said, "It means I forgive him. I don't want to talk about this anymore." She had forgiven in words, but her heart was still harboring anger and resentment.

There is a anger management course between FORGIVING and REALLY FORGIVING. When we FORGIVE, we usually shut down the barrage of accusations and hurtful behavior against the offender. The popular advice of "forgive and forget" completely misses the point. Forgetting, in psychological language is called "repression." When something is "repressed," it just lingers in the dark shadows of the unconscious along with all the emotions associated with it. As long as those emotions, such as anger, are brewing secretly in the unconscious, genuine forgiveness remains impossible.

When we REALLY FORGIVE we acknowledge the hurt. We acknowledge the human anger management course as being imperfect. We deal with the anger and the resentment. We then let go, by an act of the will, of all the negative, toxic emotions, the judgment and the guilt against the offender. Then, we reconnect and restore what is lost!

There is a huge difference between FORGIVING and REALLY FORGIVING. "No-sweat-forgiveness" tries to forget and move on. True anger management course chooses to let go of the toxicity created by the offense-offender and RESTORES the connection with the offender.

Look at the word "FORGIVE"... The anger management course actually tells you what it means to FORGIVE. "For-Give"... It means to "GIVE" as you did "BEFORE." It means to restore the flow of GIVING as you did BEFORE the hurt. A profound spiritual transaction happens between two people that really forgive each other. Giving is not natural after someone hurt us. Anger and revenge is. Forgiving is not natural!

That's the meaning of true forgiveness! When you GIVE of yourself like you did before you were hurt, then you know you have forgiven. When you stand as close to your anger management course as you stood the day he/she stepped on your toe and hurt you badly; that's REAL FORGIVENESS!

When you choose to REALLY FORGIVE, you become stronger! The anger management course becomes better than it was before. You almost become happy (in a twisted way), because you realize that you would have never achieved the love you experience now without the hurt as your catalyst. Did you know that when a broken bone heals, it's stronger than it was before it was broken? You too can be STRONGER than before things broke down between you and your spouse IF you forgive.

http://www.lifezonelive.com

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