Anger/Abuse Cycle

Anger in the Workplace:
Anger/Abuse Cycle

The anger/abuse cycle is a common pattern of interaction between family members. Although it is traditionally used to describe domestic violence it can take place in everyday parenting routines, through verbal and emotional abuse. For example, a parent may explode in frustration at his child for his irresponsible behavior. Words and actions are said by the parent that are hurtful. And even when the parent knows he is verbally abusing his son, he may be unable to stop himself or find himself caught back up in anger after he promised himself, and his son, that he would not vent at him in frustration. Understanding the anger/abuse cycle is the first step toward breaking the cycle.

The anger/abuse cycle has three main phases: The problem, tension building, and honeymoon phase. The following ten steps break these phases into more detail:

1. Problems occur in life and tension begins to develop. What stressors are at work in your life, job, or family? How do you perceive the actions of others towards you? Are those perceptions accurate or unrealistic?
2. Opportunity to ESCAPE or ESCALATE!
3. If escalating, tension builds/ineffective coping strategies start.
4. Ineffective coping strategies fail/Tension continues to build.
5. Trigger thoughts set off anger and violence.
6. Explosion: Destructive release of tension.
7. Feelings of guilt and remorse over angry words/actions. Promises are made to "never do it again."
8. Honeymoon Period. Low tension, happy moods, and false hope.
9. Denial of anger problem.
10. Problems and stressors reoccur or new one's develop. The cycle continues.....

The first phase brings problems in the life of the parent or in the relationship between parent and child. Problems are a normal part of life but if they add up too high or occur too frequently, they can lead to expressions of anger. The expression can be constructive if the parent has coping mechanisms that allow him to cope with the problem by finding a solution to it. This is the escape choice listed in item 2 above. If the parent is unable to cope then he is left with the choice of escalating or moving into the tension building phase. Ineffective coping mechanisms may increase feelings of frustration and helplessness if parents feel they are "failures" because their coping mechanisms did not work. This and other trigger thoughts become the spark that sets off an explosion or release of tension. This would include items 3 through 6 listed above. Items 7 and 8 occur after the tension has been released. This is characterized by guilt, remorse, and false promises. This is the third or honeymoon phase. It is called the honeymoon phase because parent and child experience low tension, happy moods, and false hope that the anger/abuse is gone. All that has really happened is that the tension has been released and the feelings of frustration over the parents problems and their inability to cope with it are no longer present. Unfortunately, this denial of an anger management problem and the inevitable reoccurence of more problems causes the anger/abuse cycle to start all over again.

The obvious means of breaking this cycle is to find more effective coping mechanisms. This does two things for the parent. The first is that it relieves the parent from personalizing their failure. This means that the parent reframes themselves as needing new tools to find a solution to their parenting problem rather than as being failures for not finding the solution. In other words, it is the tool that is ineffective not the parent. At this point, the parent needs to find the right tool for the job. The second benefit is that it empowers the parent to take responsibility for changing the parent/child relationship. The parent enjoys the feeling of being in control of their thoughts and actions which affects the child's thoughts and actions. This is the opposite direction taken in item 5 and 6 above where blame and shame typically occur. Instead of blaming the other person, as wrong as he might be, the parent can take responsibility for their part in the problem, or at least their reaction to it, which breaks the cycle of anger and abuse.

By Ron Huxley

Anger Training. Really Work
Online Anger Management Classes: Do they really work?

Anger management is one of the most popular courses available online. You'd think that the large numbers of people who take, and who have taken, these classes would convince others that these classes really do deliver the goods. You'd think so, but you'd be wrong. Some people just don't think that online anger management classes will work for them. Still others think that
online anger management classes will not work at all.  Both of these groups are wrong, too.

Although this disagreement about the usefulness of anger management classes online has been going on for quite a while, the statistics show that people who have taken well-designed anger management classes online have gotten their money's worth, and then some. These people have learned ways to control their anger and manage situations that used to cause them to fly off the handle. Their changed lives are the proof in the pudding.

Let's be honest. There is a lot at stake here. Anger can be harmful, even dangerous, for you and for the people around you. The good news, however, is that anger can be controlled and its causes dealt with before you experience another big blow-up. The first step towards recovery is to recognize that you are at the point where your anger needs to be managed. That's a big step, but you can't learn to swim until you get in the water.

The second step is to accept the fact that, like many others who've taken online anger management classes, you really can learn to change your behavior and attitudes. Others have put their lives back on track, and so can you. With diligence, determination and persistence, you can learn ways to control and your anger, instead of letting it control you. Online anger management classes are designed specifically to help you change your attitudes and behavior, as the many people who have successfully completed these online courses will testify.

Since no one online anger management class will hit a home run for everyone, there are several kinds of anger management classes available online. Your anger-related needs are different from most other people's, so you need classes that address your  individual anger-related needs. The good news is that such classes are available.

Even after you have made the decision to participate in anger management classes, you still face the big stumbling block of time, or rather the lack of time, in your hectic professional and personal schedules. We're all jammed when it comes to taking on new activities. But, when you take anger management classes online, you gain some efficiencies you would not have in a traditional face-to-face course. For instance, you can use the time you would have spent driving to a standard class and back actually  working on your course. Another big plus is that you can do your coursework any time of the day or night because the course is accessible 24-7. And remember, you don't have to be sitting in a classroom miles from your home. You can do your coursework anywhere you have access to the Internet.

Also, when you participate in anger management classes online, you will have the opportunity to interact online with a variety of people from different parts the U. S., as well as other parts of the world. What a value-added experience that can be!

In addition, while you can interact with hundreds of people participating in the class online, you can still have the option of remaining anonymous. No one needs to be embarrassed about dealing with his or her own anger issues honestly.

With so many benefits, anger management classes online are a valuable and accessible option to help you live a happier, more productive life.

Why wait, when you can enroll in an anger management online class today! Online Anger Classes Help to Counter Anger

Online anger, anger classes online, online anger classes, anger courses

Anger is a dangerous emotion that, if left uncontrolled, can wreak havoc in people's lives. "People" is a collective term, a plural word meaning more than one person. You knew that, but it bears repeating to emphasize that anger affects the person who is blowing his/her stack and the person(s) having to take the brunt of it. And as long as we are looking at word meanings, let's consider some of the terms---all negative---often used to describe a "fly off the handle" angry person:  jerk, nutcase, brute, dork, bully and tyrant.

No people would ever say to themselves "I think it would be so cool if people avoided me because I'm such a bombastic jerk."  But one of the characteristics of uncontrolled anger is that it can blind the person who is acting out so they don't--- or can't--- see themselves as others do. In fact, not unless and until the person screaming at the top of his lungs finally begins to wake up to the fact that he or she needs more self-control that there is a reasonable chance for making  lasting, positive changes. After a person decides to get help, the next step is to consider where to go to get it. More and more people these days are choosing an online anger class to learn ways to manage their anger.

Why an anger class, and why online? First, anger classes and anger courses are mushrooming because of the increasing stress in our society. More and more people need help managing their stress and their anger. Another reason large numbers of people are enrolling in online anger classes is there are more classes available. The number of online anger management classes being designed, developed and put online continues to grow.

Being online means that the courses offer more options and flexibility to participants than traditional classes in which people are required to sit in rows and listen passively to a teacher lecture. Online anger classes are interactive, inclusive, and designed by experts specifically for online delivery. They do not require a massive technological set-up, and can be taken anywhere there is a computer that can access the Internet, Whether late at night, early in the morning, or any time in between an online anger class is available.

These online anger classes are designed for parents, teenagers, and sometimes as part of professional development activities at work. Some online anger classes offer a certificate upon completion. Sometimes, judges require people facing charges to attend anger management classes, and to show proof of their attendance. In these cases, judges typically accept the certificate as proof the defendant followed the court's orders. Whether an anger management class is voluntary or required, the participant gets the same course content and the same level of support and encouragement from the course instructors and facilitators. The goal is the same: to empower the participants to manage their anger so they can start down the road of self-control and reconciliation.

 If you have decided that an anger management class would be helpful for you, consider taking on online anger class, and the sooner the better.


Welcome to the Anger Management Training Institute! We offer a variety of Court Certified Anger Management Classes which include our Anger Programs and Online Courses, Seminars, and our award winning Online Class to help people just like you overcome Anger Problems through the simple but effective Anger Management Techniques which are practiced and learned in James A. Baker’s Best Selling Book “The Anger Busting Workbook” by Bayou Publishing. Our fast and effective Anger Courses, Classes, Workshops, and Anger Management Seminars have helped over 60,000 individuals just like you resolve their anger management therapy issues and regain complete control of their lives. Get fast Anger Management Help.

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