>Eight Simple Anger Management Tips
>Eight Simple Anger Management TipsAnger management skillsto helpreduce the stress anger causes
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.
Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.
Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships, too
Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.
Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.
Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).
We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management skills and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
Develop your anger management skills
For those who have a tough time controlling
their anger, an anger management
plan might help. Think
of this as your emotional control class, and try
these self-help anger management tips:
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #1
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of
my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are,
you will see things from a calmer perspective.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #2
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of
of my anger?" If someone cut in front
of you at the book store check-out, you will probably
find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #3
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit
that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too
... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #4
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do
this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will
see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really
did not mean you any harm.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #5
some "new and improved" variations of counting
to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep
slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing
-- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat,
etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats
are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about
or use something else that you find either pleasant
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #8
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and
travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help and you still feel you lack sufficient anger management skills, you might need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
By David Leonhardt